I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
