just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
