You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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