Nicole vs. Life
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
