OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
