do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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