that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
