Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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