She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
