Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
