left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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