I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize