you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Enjoy the penises
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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