I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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