Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
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Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
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If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.