I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
