Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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