big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
