yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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