Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
smell my finger.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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