my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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