Got a toothbrush?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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