there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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