it wasn't lemon gatorade
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
