this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize