Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
