I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
