Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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