Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
