i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
