singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
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Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
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I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize