Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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