that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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