I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
