bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize