Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
