Where is the hickey?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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