we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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