There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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