And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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