My sheets look like a crime scene.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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