I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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