sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
