thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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