I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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