i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize