Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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