hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You don't make any sense
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