She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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