I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
