she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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