Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
