I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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