Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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